Slow Mend
by Leather Sky
Summary: P3: After SEES learns that Nyx is coming and their days are numbered, Akihiko's patience with Junpei is wearing thin. He hopes a fight will bring him satisfaction, but the consequences are not as he expected. Akihiko/Junpei switch Mitsuru/Minato minor
1. Chapter 1

Part One

"_What the hell kind of question is that?_ Of course I'm scared." Junpei's voice rang out brutally. Everyone watched uncomfortably as he verbally battered Yukari with all his anger and fear and irritation, but no one contested what he was saying. In the end, Yukari was the one who apologized, in much softer tones than her earlier teasing ones. Akihiko thought to himself that _he_, at least, wasn't going to let himself go off on anyone like that. Glancing at Mitsuru, he had no idea what was running through her mind. Was she as tired of these emotional outbursts as he was? Or did she inwardly sympathize with the things the younger members of SEES were feeling? The times she adressed everyone, even after they had all gotten close, it was always so collected...that was how the others should be. He turned back to look at Junpei, who would _never_ be collected, no matter what the situation. It made him feel something indefinite; he dismissed it as annoyance as they went seperately to their rooms to think and pretend to sleep.

It was hours later, and Akihiko wasn't sleeping any better than anyone else. He decided to stop pretending and got up to wear himself out on the punching bag. Even after the sweat was running down his neck, though, it wasn't enough. He put his gloves down and paced the room a few times. He needed release but this wasn't, apparently the _kind_ of release he needed...after another minute or two of pacing he sighed and resigned himself to it. Akihiko mopped himself with his shirt and then sat down on the bed, frowning. Almost reluctantly he took himself out. Whenever he broke down and touched himself he tried to make it as quick as possible; he couldn't help feeling like it was some kind of weakness or concession to rely on this every now and again. He always sat on the edge of the bed, not making the feel of soft sheets against his back or the pleasures of self-exploration any part of it. If his other hand did anything it lay clenched against the bed down by his side.

He shut his eyes and tried to think of something erotic, because that got it over with faster. Usually if nothing else he thought of Mitsuru. Even if they had grown up together, he recognized that she was beautiful; and he couldn't help noticing it even more those nights they fought together. Her lethal resolve and the grace of her movements in the restrictive school uniform (or better yet, the high-cut armor she sometimes wore) made her very attractive...and those images were usually more than enough to get the job done. After a moment, though, Akihiko frowned. Tonight those images wouldn't come. Instead this vague feeling resurfaced...the frustration or annoyance from earlier. Junpei, blowing up again, hurting someone's feelings. Junpei acting like a sullen child...Akihiko's eyes opened in shock as he realized he was panting, the hand in his lap working violently. He looked down in disbelief at the state he was in, but a moment later closed his eyes and gave into it again. Tensed and bent forward, he let his mind race with unclear thoughts about letting go for once and really telling Junpei off...no...maybe even hitting him, or..._or_.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

The next morning, Akihiko woke up on top of the sheets. He tiredly surveyed the morning sunlight as it glanced off his trophies and then stared dully at the shirt he had balled up and tossed across the room the night before. He was wrapped up in a strange kind of peaceful exhaustion this morning...it took him a long time to remember why. When he did remember he sat up, panicked and disgusted with himself. He had done it...to _Junpei_...not once but several times. In fact, he thought, as his cheeks started to burn angrily, he had really only stopped because he had passed out. He, and the bed, were a mess; he was even a little sore there now. Akihiko gritted his teeth and focused on getting himself to the bathroom for a very thorough shower. Next would have to be laundry. Thinking about anything else was out of the question.

All the same, he was going to run into Junpei eventually. For once he found it difficult to focus in school, and practice didn't go very well for him that day either. By the end of the day he was actually relieved when he got back to the dorm; everyone was so used to him being "perfect" that any mistakes he made in class or in the ring had elicited a torrent of concern. Later that night when he saw Junpei brooding in the corner of the second floor lounge he felt almost elated...because he had long since determined what he was going to do when he saw him again.

He was bigod going to make him _pay_.

It wasn't hard to get Junpei to his room. Akihiko said one or two unflattering things about Junpei sulking alone, using words like "weak" and "childish." He said he wouldn't be surprised if Junpei wanted to escape reality just like his old man. Maybe they should go in on a bottle of something together, he knew Junpei would appreciate it anyway. Long before Akihiko started using his fists, he used words, attacking Junpei swiftly and brutally, forcing a response. For a brief moment he was afraid that Junpei would actually take his words to heart, since he was his senpai and Junpei seemed to respect him. But then the younger boy's chin lifted and his eyes blazed under the rim of his hat, and Akihiko knew he would get the fight he wanted and more. He stepped back just a little and drew a soft breath, fists clenched in his leather gloves, anticipating.

Junpei's voice trembled on the edge of rage. "Senpai...I...I'm gonna beat the shit out of you if you don't shut up..." So, even now Junpei was at least trying to hold it in...that was just going to make it better.

"I doubt that." Akihiko spoke deliberately. "You're all talk...you always have been." Junpei almost lunged for him then, but Akihiko lightly turned his head as if he hadn't noticed. "If you really want to try, let's get out of the hallway." Without looking back, he headed straight for his room. Junpei's tread was heavy behind his. Akihiko half-closed his eyes as he opened the door, heart hammering in his chest silently. No one could blame him for any of this if Junpei came willingly.

Inside the first moments were awkward. Junpei shut the door and Akihiko reached past him to lock it, and then they were left facing each other wondering how to begin. A moment ago it could have happened easily, but now that they'd come here specifically to beat each other up, someone had to start it. Akhihiko smiled coldly. "What's the matter, Junpei..." he chose to echo Yukari's words. "Are you _scared_?" After that it was perfect.

When they first met, Junpei wouldn't have given Akihiko more than a minute or two of effort at the maximum. After so many nights in Tartarus though, he was a much better match. Akihiko found himself appraising the new strength in those arms even as he dodged them and (very occasionally) felt a blow hit. He was present for the fight but he also observed it, savoring the rough gasps Junpei made when one of Akihiko's punches landed (much more often) and drinking in every violent shift in his expression and stance. What he had imagined last night couldn't really compare to this, and he groaned a little as he felt one of Junpei's fists manage to meet its mark again and realized he was about to get caught up in it too. After that everything was mindless, no more observation, only the two of them struggling and panting and hurting each other as much as they could. Akihiko knew more about footwork than Junpei and he eventually managed to take him down, landing him hard against the floor. It really was a good thing that Minato was out that night, the noise they were making...one and then two of the trophies on Akihiko's desk crashed to the floor as Junpei cursed and kicked at him, trying to knock him off balance. Akihiko didn't join him on the floor but he didn't let Junpei get back up, either. Finally, he planted one foot in Junpei's chest to keep him down, then sank onto his knees straddling him. He was a little tired now...and Junpei was plainly tired. He put his hands to Junpei's throat to make him lie still.

Junpei looked up at him angrily and Akihiko wondered how long it would take for the bruises to show. It was probably better that he didn't know where they were yet; he didn't trust himself not to try and touch them, or even lick or bite at them. That wasn't good...he had meant to work everything out in the fight. But just like last night after using the punching bag, he was left tired but unsatisfied.

"Well?" Junpei's voice broke into Akihiko's thoughts. "You look disappointed. Were you expecting me to cry or something?"

"Of course not." Akihiko muttered, his hands still on Junpei's neck.

"Why not? Isn't that what someone 'childish' would do? Somone who's 'all talk'?"

"Is that what I said?" Akihiko rubbed his forehead with one hand, tiredly.

"Jesus, you don't even remember?"

Akihiko looked down at him vaguely. "I made it all up. So no...not really."

If anything, this made Junpei angrier than he had been all night. It gave him the burst of energy he needed to wrench Akihiko off of him and sit up, grabbing him by the sweater and shouting into his face: "_WHAT?!_ How the fuck could you do something like that? WHY?"

Akihiko blinked and then shrugged.

Junpei found himself defeated for the second time that night. Wordlessly, he let him go. "... ...this...isn't you, Senpai."

Akihiko stretched and leaned back against the bed. "No, I guess it isn't...maybe if I were like you and shot my mouth off all the time, something like this wouldn't build up." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, and Junpei realized grudgingly that Akihiko hadn't actually been trying to bait him that time. Something about that was infuriating.

"Jeez, don't sound so damned crushed, Senpai. Was I that much of a let-down as a punching bag?"

Akihiko shook his head, taking the question seriously. "It's just not enough, that's all...I don't know what I need."

Junpei growled and rubbed his throbbing sides. The punches Senpai had landed on his body were really starting to hurt, now that he was thinking (close to) clearly again. "I'd bet you anything you just need to get laid. Shit...so do I." Self-pity over the the beating he'd taken suddenly turned into self-pity over the fact that Junpei was most likely going to die a virgin. Something about that made the present pain seem inconsequential and Junpei frowned to himself miserably.

Akihiko was apparently thinking the same thing about himself, though. "That's no good; be realistic."

"Come on. At least you have a chance with Mitsuru-senpai. You've known her forever, and she's probably all scared and vulnerable now like the rest of us. Actually, I know she is..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well...fine. What I mean, is Minato's about to beat you to it, man. I'm telling you, you need to stop dicking around and get in there before he takes her away."

Akihiko sat very still and looked into the middle distance. After awhile, though, he shook his head. "If that's what she wants, then that's fine."

Junpei scowled. "Don't sit there like some fucking knight in shining armor after you pulled that psychological bullshit just so you could thrash me. We're all going to die, there's no shame in at least trying."

"I'm not. I just...well, I don't even know if that's what I want."

"That's it; you have to be gay."

"I'm fine with beating you up worse."

"Bring it!" Junpei tried to look like another round wouldn't send him into a coma and failed.

Akihiko smiled...a little. "...you're just talking big again. I don't see _you_ making any moves on anyone...no serious ones."

Junpei looked uncomfortable. "It's kind of too soon, after..."

Akihiko nodded softly after a moment. "Another girl wouldn't seem 'right.' "

"...yeah."

"Well, maybe that's how I feel, too."

Junpei shifted uncomfortably. "We're both pathetic."

"I guess."

With that, there seemed nothing more to be said, so Junpei tried to get up. "Well, it's been _real_ fun, but I'm going to bed."

"Yeah...I'm sorry." Akihiko watched for awhile but Junpei had still not succeeded in standing up.

Junpei scowled at the floor, not daring to look at Akihiko and trying not to let his cheeks redden with shame. Finally though he looked up at him imploringly. Akihiko dragged himself to his feet and got Junpei onto the bed, obeying the same code of silence.

"I'm really fine, just if you could maybe help me to my room." Junpei finally muttered.

Akihiko went to get his (often used) first aid kit. "I will in a second, I just figured it couldn't hurt to take a look at you."

Junpei sighed and sat up a little. "Okay, sure. Maybe a compress or something..." He hung his hat on one of Akihiko's bedposts and undid his shirt, painfully, as Akihiko sat down next to him on the bed. He wasn't thinking of anything much, just waiting for Akihiko to do something, when he realized he'd actually been sitting there with his shirt off long enough for his skin to get cold. He looked up sharply to see what the hell Senpai was doing and his eyes widened in alarm.

Akihiko was just...staring at him. Junpei couldn't make heads or tails out of his expression but he knew he didn't like it. Suddenly he leaned forward, reaching out to touch one of the dark patches forming on Junpei's left side. Junpei shuddered and jerked back. "Are you _nuts_?" His senpai didn't seem to hear, though. A moment later he had bent closer, at first Junpei thought maybe to examine the bruise...but then Akihiko closed his eyes and brushed his teeth against it. Junpei's body went rigid and he planted a palm on Akihiko's forehead, shoving his face back. "_Dammit_! **Listen to me!**" Akihiko seemed to come out of it a little and sat back while Junpei contracted himself into an outraged ball on the other end of the bed. "What the hell?!"

"I don't...I don't really know...sorry..." Akihiko seemed genuinely confused, but Junpei wasn't once his angry glance settled a little lower. He shot out a foot and ground it against Akihiko's crotch, making the older boy gasp in surprise. "What the fuck is _that_, then?"

Akihiko backed quickly away, looking anywhere but at Junpei. "I didn't realize...sorry." Meanwhile Junpei was scrambling to get off the bed. His combined horror and disgust was a good driving force and he managed to swing his legs over the bed enough to grab the headboard and stand up. He looked back over his shoulder at Akihiko-senpai as he grabbed his hat, mostly to make sure he wasn't going to be chased, but when he saw Akihiko's expression he paused. If anything, Senpai was even more upset than he was. Junpei clenched and unclenched his fist around the sweat-soaked band of his baseball hat, and kept standing there. Finally, Akihiko looked up.

Junpei twitched, resisting the urge to bite down on his lower lip. "You...so, you planned this the whole time. That shit, that was just your sick little idea of foreplay. Tell me I'm wrong."

Akihiko shook his head and kept shaking it, but that didn't tell Junpei what he wanted to know. He leaned closer, his voice a soft snarl now. "So then I was right earlier."

That finally mobilized Akihiko and he lunged at him. With the two of them in the tired state they were in, it was awkward. They were both back on the bed, tangled up and angry to be tangled. "I'm not, dammit, stop saying that!" Junpei just looked up at him coldly. "You gonna knock me out now? Let me wake up in the morning wondering why I have a throbbing pain in my--" Akihiko backhanded him, hard, and Junpei growled and clamped a hand down on his wrist. They lay there in stalemate, breathing angrily in each other's faces. Suddenly Akihiko closed his eyes and ducked his head sharply. He hadn't been paying attention to Junpei's other hand. "Stop..."

Junpei shifted a little and grunted. He was already sore and Akihiko's weight wasn't helping. "Come on. This is what you wanted, right?" He sounded every bit as cruel as he meant to. Akihiko tried to shake his head "no," but like last night all he could seem to do was pant harder and focus unwillingly on the feelings coming to him. This was what he had been missing earlier, after their fight. This was what he had wanted all along. Junpei grinned a little bit and squeezed him harder, aware that he was winning. Finally Akihiko gave in and dug his fingers into the bed, groaning and jerking his hips. Junpei released his other wrist and caged his fingers in Akihiko's hair. "It's all right Senpai, I'll take care of you." His voice was so damned smug that Akihiko rallied a little. "Look, don't be stupid...I can't get off with a guy. There's no way." Junpei just smiled back at him...it was his turn to mock Akihiko. "I doubt that."

After Akihiko came (and it was probably about the most embarassing thing that had ever happened to him, he thought miserably) Junpei rolled him over on his back. He scrambled to cover himself while Junpei looked around for something to wipe everything up with. "Here," he said roughly as he handed him a wad of tissues. Akihiko cleaned himself off and unwillingly watched Junpei do the same. He readjusted himself and had started to zip his pants up again when Junpei's hand arrested him. "...what are you doing?"

Akihiko blinked, not understanding, so Junpei looked at him deliberately and spoke slowly and clearly. "Don't I get a turn?" He had the pleasure of watching Senpai go as red as his sweater. Finally, after a couple of false starts, Akihiko managed a choked "What?"

Junpei undid himself without his hand shaking, although inwardly he was nervous. "It's only fair, Senpai. Besides, this way it's not like I'm going to tell anyone. What would I say?" He paused to see if Senpai would go for it. After a moment, he held back the urge to gulp as Akihiko reached for him, seeming to resign himself to whatever would get Junpei out of his room the quickest. Junpei shook his head, though. "At least take off the fucking gloves."

Akihiko glared and whipped them off, grabbed Junpei hard and started to pump it. "_Dammit_!" Junpei hissed and then grabbed his wrist. "You know better than that, Senpai...Christ. You have to--"

"I don't _have_ to do anything." But, Akihiko slowed his hand and tried to do it properly. When Junpei's eyes had drifted half-shut and his breathing became a little more ragged, Akihiko even found himself getting interested in what he was doing. If he went faster...if he closed his hand tighter...if he focused on one place with his thumb...what would happen? He tried different things and watched Junpei's face through them all. Finally Junpei gritted his teeth and tugged Akihiko's pants down. Akihiko stopped, momentarily stunned and feeling the anger rise up in him again, but Junpei didn't give him much time to think before he clamped his mouth down on Akihiko's and forced his tongue in. Akihiko bit it but Junpei didn't seem to mind, and as his hand slid back into place between Akihiko's thighs he was dismayed to find that this was like last night, too...once wasn't enough. He panted and let go of Junpei, opening his mouth a little wider and tasting the blood as Junpei slowly got him worked onto his side. The different attacks on his senses were enough to keep him ignorant from what Junpei was planning to do until it was almost time.

"_What the hell are you doing?_" Akihiko pulled his face away suddenly as he felt Junpei shift his hand and slide it between his hips. Junpei looked back at him serenely. "I'm not gonna be your "girl," Senpai...not tonight anyway." Junpei started to nudge him with fingers still slick from stroking him, and Akihiko sat up planning to elbow him in the chin and then maybe punch out a few teeth. He wavered as he felt Junpei's other hand go up his shirt, though, and Junpei took that moment to slide one or two of them in. "God..." Akihiko hissed. "Take them out." Junpei kept working him, keeping his eyes locked with Akihiko's. "I will in a minute." Somehow or other Akihiko guessed what he meant by that and he gritted his teeth. "That's not what I mean, you sick fuck." Junpei hooked his fingers in him suddenly, making Akihiko's eyes lose focus. "Look at yourself before you say that to me." He slid his other hand back down Akihiko's side and pulled on him, still very much erect, still wet. "Look at yourself...here." Akihiko only shook his head and closed his eyes, but his lips were parted and his breath was coming faster now. Junpei regarded him silently for another moment or two and then spread his hips and slid into him.

Akihiko groaned as Junpei clutched one of his thighs and arched over him. Junpei had to wait a moment before he could start thrusting; when he did he tried his best to control it. If he hurt Senpai doing this it would be a lot worse than what Akihiko had done by beating him up, and besides, he didn't want to come right away like his body was telling him he should. It was best not to look at Senpai either, because the way he was all flushed and clutching at the bed and sometimes himself was just too much to watch and _not_ come. Finally he pressed himself to Akihiko's back and ran his free hand over Senpai's body, shivering and biting softly at his jaw and the back of his neck. He heard Akihiko coming again, but he needn't have listened because a moment later the evidence of it was all around him, writhing and pressing in against him. He gave up trying to hold back after that.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Akihiko woke up feeling amazingly sore all over, which fortunately for him was nothing new. As he had done the morning before, he lay there tiredly for awhile before piecing together what the hell had actually happened last night, his reasons for feeling so sore and exhausted. At some point he became aware that he wasn't alone in the bed, but he was literally too tired to whip around. He raised himself painfully on one elbow and looked back over his shoulder at Junpei, lying there on his side sleeping with one arm still thrown over him. For the moment he didn't feel any sympathy for him, even though much of Junpei's body was black and blue. One punch was enough to send him to the floor, where Junpei cursed weakly and sat up, blinking in the unforgiving light. He noticed that his hat had rolled under the bed and he mechanically dusted it off and put it on. At the moment it was the _only_ thing he had on. Akihiko regarded him coldly, not speaking, so Junpei finally broke the silence.

"What time is it?"

"Look at the clock."

"...oh." Junpei looked around Akihiko's room until he spotted it. "Wow...it's late."

"I never got a chance to set the alarm."

Junpei scowled. "_You_ brought me here."

"Well, you can leave now."

"What...no good-bye kiss?"

Junpei dodged another trophy.


	2. Chapter 2

_Stop crying. You're making me feel bad._

Junpei woke up and stared at the ceiling for awhile. It was Sunday now, no need to get up for classes. He'd probably just go down to the manga cafe later or maybe the convenience store. They had all agreed that the best thing to do was to just keep living normally... He sat up and rubbed his face. That was kind of a joke, really. None of them had had normal lives for a long time now. Junpei's "normal" life had ended the night he had been found in the convenience store, sobbing, huddled in a forest of coffins. Senpai hadn't told him not to cry then. Senpai hadn't said much of anything. Junpei's primary memories from that night weren't of any words spoken; he remembered a hand reaching down to pull him up, the feel of the leather against his own clammy palm, the red wool he crushed his face against and the way his tears didn't soak into it but just stood there reminding him how weak he was being. No, Senpai didn't say a word about how he needed to be a man and stop crying. That kind of thing had come later. Thinking back to the night they fought each other, Junpei forced himself to replay what had happened afterwards.

Senpai hadn't cried.

He sat up and scanned the floor for his jeans. Junpei had been wondering, since that night, what had really happened. A lot of it didn't make sense to him, especially his part in it. Why had he done that? Sure, he had been mad...and sure, he knew that half the girls at Gekkodan desperately wanted to make it with Akihiko-senpai, but...Akihiko was a guy. Even if he'd made Junpei suspect Senpai was into guys, that didn't make _Junpei_ into guys. All that stuff he had said about there not being a "right" girl right now didn't justify what they had done. Well...what Junpei had done. Akihiko certainly hadn't asked for any of that...did that make him a...? Junpei frowned miserably.

Then he balled up a fist and slammed it against the bed. Senpai could have fought him off...right? Senpai had still been in better shape than him by far. Surely, he could have sent Junpei to the floor with one good punch just like he had later that morning. So he must have wanted it..._god, what am I thinking_. The hell of it was that Senpai hadn't done anything after that. Junpei had fully expected to die that day or at latest, the next of massive blunt trauma from those gloved fists. But that day went by and then the next, _and_ the next, and Akihiko-senpai never tried anything. That was a lot worse, letting Junpei get away with something like that. If it was him, he'd have at least--

Junpei froze in the act of sliding into his shirt. That was, of course, the answer. If it was _him_. He gulped. If it was him, he was sure as fuck going to cry and try to get away and in general embarass the hell out of himself. But...well, that was just kind of fair, wasn't it? It might be the only way he could ever make up for it, if there even was a way. But did he want to make up for it that badly? Akihiko-senpai had been, well, fine ever since it happened. Junpei had found himself being almost irritated about it. They were a little cooler to each other than they had been, but that was about it. It didn't seem to have affected a damned thing. Maybe Senpai was so tough he didn't even care? _No... _Junpei shook his head. _I'm just trying to make myself feel better._ The Senpai that had picked a fight with him and then later had thrown the fight...panting there and letting Junpei do things to him that Junpei didn't even really know about before, just kind of had to make up as he went along...**that** Senpai had very definite emotions and weaknesses. Akihiko just didn't like to show that side, apparently. But it wasn't like Junpei could try and pretend it wasn't there. And he owed that side a big, BIG apology.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Akihiko didn't look up from repairing his gloves. "What is it?"

"We need to talk." Junpei spoke between mouthfuls of cup noodles.

"No we don't."

Junpei bit the side of his tongue angrily and set down the empty container. "Come on, dammit, you know what I mean. I still gotta apologize."

"I don't need your apology."

"But..." Junpei frowned uncertainly.

Akihiko looked up at him then, coldly. "You feel bad and you want me to make you feel better. Sorry, no."

"No, I..." Junpei paused. _...__**is**__ that what I'm doing?_

"Glad I could help you sort that out. Now get lost." Akihiko's head bent to his gloves again.

If Akihiko had bothered to keep looking, he would have seen the crushed expression on Junpei's face. As it was, he still unwillingly caught the words Junpei muttered as he shuffled his way over to the main lobby doors. "I'd do anything to make this better, Senpai...I really would."

Akihiko gave no sign that he had heard. He only looked up again after the doors had opened and then swung shut a moment later.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Hours later, the rain caught Junpei as he was heading back. He cursed and ran for the dorm but didn't make it into the lobby before it started pouring hard. As it was, he was drenched when he wrenched open one of the double doors and flung himself inside, swearing. He whipped off his jacket and stood there shivering for a moment, rain dripping off the rim of his hat, before he bothered to look to see if anyone else was back yet. It was about as bad as it could be...Fuuka and Mitsuru-senpai were there, and both of them were staring at him open-mouthed. He had forgotten the bruises.

Junpei laughed it off and made a show of embarassment over his wet clothes. "What, you ladies never seen a Wet T Shirt contest before? 'Course, I'm a guy..." and tried to get to the stairs as quickly as possible. Of course he didn't make it. Mitsuru stayed in her seat but Fuuka rushed over, worried about the terrible marks that Junpei's jacket and winter uniform had kept everyone ignorant of until now. Normally so shy, she was examining him now, asking him how had he gotten them, _when_? Some of the ones on his ribs were still dark enough to show through his shirt. He supposed it really must look pretty bad.

"Aw, you're embarassing me, Fuuka!" Junpei tugged characteristically at his hat and just barely perceptibly began backing away. "You know how much trouble we had last time we went to Tartarus. Guess I just bruise easy." Fuuka wasn't anywhere near satisfied with that, he could tell, but she was too polite to press the issue. He said something or other about getting a hot shower and escaped upstairs. He was in such a hurry to get to his room for dry clothes that he blew past Akihiko in the lounge. By the time he came back out to go shower the lounge was empty.

Back in his room, Akihiko stood with his back to his door. He had seen the bruises too, but they didn't have the same effect on him that they had had on the girls. Concern wasn't what made his hands shake and his breathing refuse to slow down. He hadn't expected them to still be so dark this much later. They were a more visceral reminder of the other night than Junpei's pathetic attempts to talk to him about it. He was reminded more than ever of the things that had gone through his mind, the things he had wanted to do to Junpei. Holding back hadn't solved anything then; Junpei had just done all of those things to him instead. Akihiko supposed that was why he hadn't really resisted him...because he understood.

_I'd do anything to make this better._

If Junpei would do anything, that meant he would let Akihiko do _that_. That and anything else Akihiko wanted to do. He knew that was what Junpei had meant earlier, of course, but he hadn't thought then that he really wanted it. He was focused on getting stronger now, like he should have been earlier. He knew how he was going to face everything; he had a plan again. In the face of that he was eager to put his moment of weakness behind him and ignore any distractions. But...even if he could shut Junpei up he couldn't shut up those bruises. They reproached him for leaving things unfinished. Akihiko wondered at what point he had slid down to sit on the floor. He rubbed one of his arms absentmindedly and decided to end the distraction once and for all before Junpei's bruises had healed.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

"Don't you ever lock your door?"

The question, flung across the silent room, had jolted him awake. Junpei's heart lept to his mouth, but he tried not to show it when he answered. "Nah...Mitsuru-senpai even got on to me about it one time. Thought I'd had my room broken into...didn't realize it's just always messy..." The flow of his words stopped as he felt the weight of one knee and then another settle on his bed.

Junpei waited breathlessly, but nothing else happened. Finally he asked "So...what did you need?" just to have something to say. The room was almost pitch-black, aside from Senpai's weight there was nothing to show he was really there if he didn't talk. It made Junpei feel like he was still alone, when he wasn't. Still Senpai didn't answer.

Suddenly he felt an arm next to his cheek. The sleeve brushed him while Akihiko felt around for the switch to the bedside lamp, and then a moment later Junpei blinked painfully as the room was lit again. The light wasn't too bright; Junpei had brought it from home where he had to sneak around if he wanted to read late, but it was much too bright for him right now. He found it very hard to look at Akihiko's face. Akihiko wasn't looking at Junpei's face either. His eyes were on Junpei's body, and a moment later Junpei felt his shirt being pushed up. He closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, guessing correctly what was coming next. He winced as Senpai's fingertips traced the different marks and wondered distractedly why he never took those stupid gloves off if he could help it. It wasn't like his hands were deformed or anything...Junpei hissed suddenly as he felt teeth next but he didn't push Akihiko away this time.

After awhile Akihiko sat up, like he had finished with whatever he came to do. Junpei looked down at himself almost expecting to see some new message written into his skin...it had felt a little like that somehow. But no, the only message there was days old. "Why are you still in your uniform? It's got to be really late."

"I haven't gone to bed yet." Akihiko still didn't really look at him. Junpei sat up a little, uncomfortably. "Look, I know you told me yesterday not to apologize, but I'm sorry. I don't even really know why I did..." Junpei gulped. "...that." Senpai didn't move or react, so Junpei stumbled on. "I hurt you, right? Or at least, embarassed you? I shouldn't have said that stuff about you, either..." _God, at least look at me or something._ "Anyway, I'm a lot more messed up than you...you just wanted to let some steam off, I don't even have an excuse--" Akihiko's hands slammed down on either side of Junpei's face so suddenly that he shrank back against the headboard and his words rang out across the quiet room like gunshots. "Dammit! Can't you ever just _**shut up?!**_" Junpei, terrified now, babbled that he'd try. After they'd stayed that way for what seemed like an eternity, though, Junpei found himself wanting to break that horrible silence again. Instead he bit his lip and wished he had somewhere else to look. He had wanted Senpai to acknowledge him earlier, but now their faces were too close together and Akihiko was looking intently at him like Junpei was supposed to do something. And Junpei had never been good with tests. Finally, he tried kissing him.

He was immediately backhanded across the face. When he had recovered a little, he forced himself to look back up at Senpai, who otherwise hadn't moved, dreading the expression he would see on his face. But Akihiko-senpai's expression hadn't changed. When Junpei couldn't help frowning in confusion, Senpai even smiled. Junpei realized with a sick feeling that it was the same smile Senpai got on his face before he destroyed Shadows. But Akihiko didn't hit him again. "You've got some nerve. Do you think I'll let you do that again?"

"What?!" Junpei was outraged. "NO!" Akihiko's expression wavered a little. "Then why--" Junpei shifted his legs and looked away. "I wasn't sure what you wanted me to do." Then he flinched as Akihiko started to laugh. It wasn't a good sound.

"Listen." Akihiko clamped Junpei's chin in one hand and jerked it up roughly to face him. "You don't know the first thing about what I want."

Junpei nodded. "Y-yeah, I really don't."

Unexpectedly, Akihiko let him go. "This is stupid...I'm going to bed." He sat back on his heels and turned to go. Junpei knew it was suicidal, but he touched Senpai's arm anyway.

"But...I mean, did you do whatever you came here to do? Are you okay now?"

Akihiko sat there motionless on the bed and Junpei guessed he wasn't going to answer. Then he turned back and Junpei had to catch his breath. Senpai really did look lost.

It was kind of painful to look back at that, so Junpei looked down. Besides, if he looked at Senpai's face he wouldn't be able to do what he started to do now...pulling his shirt off the rest of the way, tossing his boxers after it a minute later. Still not facing him, he reached over and turned off the light. Akihiko-senpai would leave, or he wouldn't. It was that simple. Junpei settled back in his bed and closed his eyes, covering them with his forearm. He tried very hard not to move.

Hands found his wrists and clamped around them, pinning them to the bed on either side. Even if he had changed his mind then he wouldn't have been able to struggle. The hands around his wrists tightened further and Junpei started a little when he realized Senpai wasn't wearing his gloves now. Then he shuddered as he felt rough wool sliding against the length of his body, burning him a little and making everything itch. He started to tilt his head back but Akihiko's mouth found his and kept him there. He didn't bite this time, but Junpei could tell he was trying to find the place again. He groaned and struggled out of some impulse other than protest.

Akihiko released one of Junpei's hands and grabbed him, squeezing his hand around him to emphasize his words. "Is this what you wanted?" He got a little rougher and Junpei dug his fingers into his shoulder but couldn't answer. "What the hell's wrong with you? Aren't you the one who likes guys?" Junpei still didn't answer, and Akihiko hissed, "Pervert."

Junpei wanted to feel insulted or hurt by that, but in all reality he just got harder. Akihiko seemed to realize this and paused uncertainly. Junpei saw his way to apologize and pounced on it. "You're right...it must have been me the whole time. Please, Senpai, I'm begging you...don't stop...take it all out on me, because I'm pretty sure I want you to." Junpei waited, still clutching at the sweater, stretching it out. He could feel Akihiko's chest starting to heave and he knew he'd gotten him, especially a moment later when his hand started to move again. "I don't know...beg me some more."

He panted and kept begging until Akihiko told him to shut up and started struggling to get out of his uniform. Junpei tried to help and got shoved back against the bed for his trouble. He wished he had the balls to turn on the light and see what Senpai looked like right now, but he knew that would ruin everything. So he stayed where he was, listening to the sounds of irritation and impatience Akihiko made as he worked his way out of everything and flung it to the ground. Then he was being pressed back against the bed by that weight again and Senpai's mouth was everywhere. It had memorized every bruise. Junpei risked finding Akihiko's head and clenching his fingers in his hair; he had to do something to mitigate the pain. At the same time though, he was throbbing. He didn't have to act this time when he begged.

Akihiko obeyed and flipped him over. Junpei hissed as Akihiko bit a trail down one of his sides, reaching back at the same time to start working him loose. He didn't know any more than Junpei did about this kind of thing, of course, so he just followed his lead from before. He panted against the small of Junpei's back and kept steadily working him in front, too, so that Junpei curled up and dug his fingers into the bed desperately. Senpai's hands were strong to the point where it almost hurt, but it was so good...feeling him like this inside and out Junpei gasped and felt himself spinning out of control. In the dark he had no idea if his eyes were closed or open. Finally he choked out something or other about doing it _now_, and the sound of his own voice shocked him.

He almost passed out in the next moment when Senpai grabbed his hips and roughly pulled their bodies together, but they were both no strangers to pain now. Akihiko seemed to realize a moment later that he had to be gentler than that and it gradually got better. Junpei's breathing became a little more even and he settled his upper body against the bed, eyes drifting shut. He moved with Akihiko-senpai easily, and the rhythm turned into something that felt as natural and constant as breathing. Akihiko wasn't satisfied with only that, though. He found Junpei's face and forced his chin up, gentler his time, until the two of them were pressed together, their mouths locked. It was harder to stay like that, but it was kind of nice, and Junpei let Akihiko steadily drive him to the edge and then push him over. After that things were less clear.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

The next morning it took a minute or two for Junpei's alarm to finally penetrate his dreams and force him to the surface. When he finally woke up, he lay there blinking stupidly for awhile, feeling like he was made of lead. Finally the covers next to him started squirming around and a muffled voice swore at Junpei to turn that fucking thing off or he would break it. Junpei blinked again and lifted up the corner of his blanket to reveal Akihiko half on and half off him, stretching and yawning irritably. Strangely enough though, when Senpai slid off him and sat up, the leaden feeling in Junpei's limbs didn't go away. He tried moving around with mixed results while Akihiko grumbled and swatted at the alarm clock.

Finally, Akihiko turned back to him. Junpei grabbed defensively at the sheets just in case he decided to punch him again, but it didn't happen. Instead, Senpai rubbed his arm a little self-consciously and asked, "Can you move?" Junpei opened his mouth to ask what kind of stupid question was that, but then he closed it again. "Not a lot, I guess." Akihiko just kind of nodded like that wasn't very surprising, and looked out the window. After another minute or two Junpei managed to drag himself into a sitting position.

Akihiko got out of bed and started finding his clothes. It took a minute or two and Junpei watched him while he did it, then continued to watch as he got dressed. "If you're going to school you need to get up soon," he remarked offhandedly as he pulled on one of his gloves. Junpei just kind of shrugged. He had no idea if he was going to try to go to school. Akihiko didn't press the issue; normally he would have lectured him, Junpei realized. His thoughts were broken up a moment later when his senpai unexpectedly leaned down and pulled him over.

A few moments later Junpei opened his eyes again, a little dazed. "W-what the hell was that?"

"Your stupid goodbye kiss." Akihiko shut the door behind him.


	3. Epilogue

Mitsuru hoped very much that she was being paranoid. After she and Fuuka had seen what Junpei clearly hadn't wanted them to notice, she had been sure something wasn't right. His excuse of the injuries covering him that day being caused by Shadows didn't make much sense to her. She had been present with him the night he referred to and hadn't seen him get knocked down very much. They were all getting quite skillful. Not only that, if she remembered correctly Yukari had gotten injured the most that night, even needing to be revived once, and she had nothing like the marks Junpei was carrying later. Considering her penchant for short skirts, everyone would have seen. No, they simply hadn't taken that much damage that night. Also, it was true that Junpei had gotten a lot more mature since Chidori died, but Mitsuru was still pretty sure he wouldn't have just silently borne all that pain when it happened, or afterwards...Junpei liked to complain. It was strange to her that he never had.

So, guardedly, Mitsuru kept an eye on him. It was a rather welcome distraction right now, with the pain of her father's death and the suicide battle they all faced soon. She soon began to notice little things that didn't fit into what she knew, or used to know.

For one, Junpei and Akihiko seemed to be sharing some kind of secret. Mitsuru was all too painfully aware, of course, that Akihiko occasionally went along with Junpei's suggestions, no matter how stupid they were. It really had hurt her to punish them all so harshly at the Hot Springs, but she had only done it out of a sense of duty. But the two of them had never seemed to be particularly close before now...not as close as Junpei was to Minato...or had been to Ryoji, she thought a little sadly. Perhaps that was all it was...Akhiko was a lot like her, he was the "Papa Bear" to her "Mama Bear" for their little outfit. Together the two of them did their best to support and guide the younger members of SEES. He might just be taking Junpei under his wing out of a desire to make the losses of Chidori and Ryoji easier for the younger boy to bear. Junpei in turn might help Akihiko with his pain over Shinji. Somehow though, that didn't quite fit in with how they had started acting.

Another strange thing was that Junpei had started studying. He had always hated studying, and Mitsuru found it hard to believe that he was going to start now that he knew he wouldn't live to graduate. But these nights, more often than not, he would go up to his room to study long before the others went up to bed. Before that the only other person who would go up so early was Akihiko, to train. Now the two of them were often absent. Sometimes she would see them as she was going up the stairs to her floor. They would be sitting there in the 2nd floor lounge, so still that she wasn't sure if they were talking or not. But they didn't look to be studying, either.

Finally, there was the hat. Junpei had actually gone to school without his hat one day. That night as she was entering Tartarus Mistsuru had seen Akihiko handing it to him out of the corner of her eye and had caught the barest sliver of a conversation: "I found it. It rolled under the--" but the two of them split up to take their normal positions as soon as they noticed her.

Something _was_ different. But she never learned anything more than that until one evening when they were all sitting around the main lobby as usual. Akihiko was stitching up his boxing gloves again, the repairs seemed endless. Junpei had just finished his noodles. He got up and stretched, then smiled at Minato. "Call me if you're going to Tartarus later, man." Then he went up to his room. Akihiko waited exactly twenty minutes (Mitsuru glanced at the clock so she knew) and then quietly got up and left too. She let her eyes flicker over everyone to see if they had noticed anything. Apparently, no one had. Well enough, she wasn't likely to cause any suspicion, either. She told Fuuka to let her know if they were going tonight too and went upstairs. She paused for a second on the boy's floor and surveyed the silent hall and empty lounge. Then she set her jaw and made her way up to the 4rth floor control room.

Once inside, she locked the door. As she sat down at the panel though she felt her resolve wavering. This was wrong, of course. She had hated it enough when they had to observe Minato to determine if he had the Potential. And now, what did she expect to find by violating their privacy? Did she honestly believe that Akihiko was hurting Junpei and Junpei was letting him? That's really what she had been afraid of when she had seen those bruises, wasn't it? Those bruises in all the same places Akihiko targeted when he fought Shadows, that looked so similar to the ones he and Shinji used to give each other when they quarreled. It was too incredible. But...they had to have come from somewhere. Fully expecting to feel foolish (and relieved) when she switched on the screen and saw Junpei studying and Akihiko training, Mitsuru swallowed and pulled up the two rooms on her monitor.

Akihiko's room was empty, she could tell at a glance. She absently flicked Junpei's room to full screen view. Then she froze...and stiffened. They weren't studying...then, were they fighting after all? _No_...she reddened deeply and her jaw dropped. _Not fighting either._

Mitsuru sat motionless for a long time, forgetting to even breathe. When had this started? Surely it was against dorm rules! She gulped and tried to look away, and failed. Akihiko had his face in Junpei's lap now, fingers sunk into his thighs; Junpei clawed desperately at his sweater until Akihiko muttered something and shrugged out of it. She watched Junpei kick at Akihiko's slacks until those were gone too; she saw Akihiko force Junpei's legs up and move to him unmistakably, back arched, shoulders tensed, so that she had to recognize the meaning of it even if she had never seen it before. Bottom lip trembling, she forced herself to look at Junpei to make sure he wasn't being hurt. His expression told her everything she needed to know, and she switched the monitor off just as he pulled Akihiko down onto him.

Hands clenched into fists, fists shaking, she thought about how to handle this. She should...should...EXECUTE them! Especially Akihiko, as the responsible one this was a shameful way to act. Taking advantage of someone younger...or at the very least, not being able to tell them no. Truly shameful! Why, she would never...with Minato...

Mitsuru paused and, if possible, blushed deeper. Then she slowly switched on the monitor again. They were saying things to each other now, too low to hear, and kissing...kissing while they did that. And they were both...happy... It would be nice to be that happy, with everything right now being so hopeless. It would be nice.

Finally, she told herself she would talk to Minato. As she turned everything off and left the room, she didn't notice the new urgency in her step.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Sometime later, Junpei was awakened by some kind of strange cry. He looked around, panicked, then saw it was past Dark Hour. So...Minato hadn't wanted to go fight tonight, apparently... He sat up carefully so as not to wake Akihiko and listened harder. Gradually his tense expression became one of surprise and finally, of guilt. He was, no doubt about it, listening to Minato and Mitsuru get it on. He hastily burrowed under the covers in an effort not to hear more, and ended up waking Senpai after all. Fortunately, that didn't turn out to be the problem he feared it would be. Akihiko mumbled something sleepily about Junpei having too much energy and a moment later he was too distracted to hear anything.

In the morning, no one ended up being Executed.


End file.
